Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Kid Incident {2} – Attack of the Poo

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Not sure if you all read my first “Kid Incident” post, but I figure its time to post another one. If I don’t, there won’t be enough space in the blogosphere to share them all. ;)

Word of warning…if you’re all all squeamish or disgraced by the talk involving fecal matter you might want to end your reading here.

So our youngest, Braden, is quite inventive when it comes to getting our attention….especially when trying to avoid naptime.

Both of my kids are great sleepers. The need sleep. They thrive on sleep. They are complete monsters without it.

Keeping Braden in his room to get him to realize he needs his nap is a different story. Basically, we had to pull out his old tension baby gate to use on his door frame during nap. Toddler nap jail, I suppose. Sometimes he gives in and stays in bed…

Other times….well, here comes the “incident” part.

He’s actually able to hold off going #2 during the day so that he has an excuse to get up from nap. No, I’m not making this up. It’s amazing how is daily dump time miraculously coincides with nap. At least he’s regular?

Each day, after a few minutes of hearing little feet pattering above me, I usually hear, “Mommy, I poooooooo’d!” I growl a bit, bad I know, and then head up to change him. Then he goes down for good….usually.

On the other hand, sometimes he’s just crying wolf and there is no poo poo to be seen (or smelled). Just a sneaky way to get mama’s attention and avoid a much needed nap.

Well, some days this becomes a marathon. And one day, (isn’t that how it always starts??) Braden gives his poo poo battle cry. I check him. He’s clean as a whistle. I go downstairs.

Again…”Mommy, need DI-pa change.” Back upstairs. He’s clean.

The third time he summoned me, I just ignored it. He’s a persistent bugger and kept calling for me. I thought, no way. I’m not fallin’ for this. YOU MUST NAP!

Big mistake. HUGE. MESSY. SMELLY. MISTAKE.

I go upstairs and at first glance, I see my 2 year old with nothing on but his T-shirt. Second glance?

A poop-a-rama. Kind of like the Barf-O-Rama in Stand By Me. Nasty. It looked like the monkey’s on his walls came to life and used his carpet for a litter box.

First instinct? Get mad at him. In my enraged mommy mind, I thought obviously he did this on purpose just to make MY life crazier, right? Well, that was just my first thought.

After calling my hubby and demanding that he come home for lunch and help me with this disaster, (yes I did it, i called in the Calvary, don’t laugh) I took a longer look at the room.

You see, the biggest part of the mess was at the gate, where he had been calling for me. There lay his soiled pants and diaper along with some smushed poo. Then there were wipes, clean and dirty, strewn about everywhere. The carpet had splotches of poo here and there. And lastly, his socks lay near his bed, also covered in the funky brown stuff.

Hmmm??

Putting my CSI skills to work, I realized that my little man had actually tried to do what he thought was the right steps for the situation.

He called for me.

When I didn’t come, he tried to resolve his dirty issue and take his pants and diaper off.

Oops, he didn’t realize his poop would plop onto the floor and, oops again, he stepped in it. That’s how he got it on his socks.

Then he ran around trying to get enough wipes to clean his bum. Of course, then he realized that his socks were covered and that just HAD to be resolved. So I’ll just sit down to get them off. Thus transferring MORE poo to the carpet.

He’s not a great wiper yet, so when he finally sat down on his bed to observe the mess, he once again, transferred more “waste” to his bedding.

The end.

Like I said before... First glance = Disaster and one naughty boy. I can’t believe you would DO this! WHY would anyone want to finger paint with poo???

Second glance = Not the end of the world and you are one clever child. I love you B-boy. Poop-O-Rama and all.

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Just goes to show that common mommy disasters might not be true disasters if you just give them a second glance.

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5 comments:

  1. That is hysterical. I'm sorry I'm laughing, but I have a similar story! And you've prompted me that it is too good not to share. Thanks for the giggles. I love a good poo story!

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  2. Kirsty - YOU actually inspired me to finally post about this one after reading about your dog barf, paint spill and watermelon shampoo mess. LOVE it and it makes my crazy seem more normal. Let's keep sharing shall we?

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  3. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. I love that you called in the calvary. You thought hey, if I have to deal with shit so should the other half of who created this cutie. I still think it would have been hard for me not to yell, but how sweet he tried to clean it up not knowing how much worse he was making it.

    My older sister did a little poop picasso on the walls when she was little. I think my mom left her in the room until my dad got home. She said there was no way she was going to make it any worse, so she left her to suffer with the smell for a while. Goes to show everyone has a poop story to share, if you just start the chain!

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  4. Oh man, I guess it's a mommy rite of passage, because I've been there sister! Yuck!

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  5. So true. I easily forget to look for what makes sense to a preschooler. They don't TRY to mess up, it's just that they don't know how to do it. Great reminder! =)

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