Sunday, December 2, 2012

Humor for the Holidays

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I need some laughter.  Actually, I always need some laughter.  It’s the holidays and I’m sure you could use a few laughs too.  Everyone is bustling around trying to buy gifts.  Money is tight for most people =  STRESS!  And stores and parking lots are packed.  Then people do stuff like this…

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Grrrrr!  So, here are some things that have made me laugh recently.

Holiday Decorating…

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My husband doesn’t understand foo foo girly decoration stuff.  Heck, neither do I most of the time.  However, I do understand that a large outdoor bow for our very large wreath is not disposable.  It’s not considered a consumable.  Nope.  It’s a reusable.  Well, he didn’t get that memo and somehow he tossed my very large bow last year while taking down the holiday decorations. 

While pulling out all of our holiday d├ęcor this year, my very large wreath looked very naked.  Too naked to be hung proudly above the garage. 

Me:  You killed Christmas.

Derek:  What?

Me:  You threw away my very large bow.  You have killed Christmas like the Grinch.

Derek:  Seriously?

A few days later…

Kids:  Where’s that big wreath that you usually hang above the garage? 

Me to the kids:  Oh you mean the one with the very large bow?  Well, daddy threw it away and now I’m not sure if Santa will come.  He’s killed Christmas.

Kids:  WHAT?

I searched several stores for a replacement very large bow and apparently waiting three days post-Black Friday isn’t the best time to go on that hunt. 

Finally, I went to Party City and found a somewhat decent replacement bow.  I called my husband to tell him that I saved Christmas.  His eye roll could be heard through the phone.

Very large bow shopping bonus situation…

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What REALLY made my trip Party City a score was not just my new very large bow.  I also became the lucky recipient of this in change…

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Yep, it’s a sign.  I should frame it.  It says, look at me and laugh.  And I did.  Although a very concerned neighbor/Facebook friend told me to burn it and he would gladly reimburse me.  Sorry L.M., I’m holding on to it for now.  It’s my Dolla Makes Me Holla, Honey Boo Boo good luck dollar.  Don’t judge.

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More Boo!

Yes, Halloween is clearly old news.  However, my kids and husband have taken to ganging up on me.  And scaring me.  And hiding in dark corners and jumping out at me.  What gives?  Freaking outnumbered is what gives.  Help!

Upper half of the female body talk…

Under Garment clipart

While doing a little blog reading catch up browsing, I stumbled upon a post by Jen from The Martha Project.  Jen’s a local blogger that I’ve met once before and she wrote a hysterical bit on Vicky Secret bras and just boob issues in general.  Check it out HERE. 

I’m not stalking you Jen…a totally random stumble on an old post of yours.  I had a similar Vicky Secret experience, but in a totally opposite size direction.  Does the half full, stretched out water balloon ring a bell for any readers?  Well, that’s when members of the IBTC (I’ll message you what this stands for if you don’t know) grow up, nurse their young and then lose some of their baby weight.  Anywho…check out Jen’s post. Very funny!!!

On the subject of toughness…

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Me:  Who is tougher mommy or daddy? 

We both flex our muscles.

Braden:  Daddy.  Cuz he has fur on his arms.

Yes, he does honey.  Thank goodness for that.  I will concede to his toughness.

Well, that’s all for now.  Hope that was good for a few laughs at least.  Feel free to share some of the funny love with me too.  I love a good laugh…or 10! 

Happy Holidays!

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2 comments:

  1. HA! Thanks for sharing. I have a Braden too! And one time he talked about my "fur" on the playground to the kids. I only wish it was on my arms. :)

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    Replies
    1. HAHAHAHA! Yes, we've had some good stories with that particular "fur" as well. :) BTW...I think our kids are the same age too? 2003 and 2007?

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